I have always been a firm believer that everyone has a calling. We all have a knack for something. The onus is upon us to seek it out, and bend it to our will. Where would we be if Charles Lindbergh had not followed his dreams and set foot on the Moon? Probably painting Babushka dolls and swilling Borsch in some Red Communist gulag, that's where. And so, in honor of Captain Lindbergh and the Apollo 11, I have decided to pursue a calling of my own. Over many years (24), I discovered that I have propensity for a precious few things. One of them is eating, which I think is an equal two-parts important and delicious. I am also good at noticing things. If something big is happening, there's a perfectly good chance I won't miss it. But if there is one thing at which I am truly exceptional, it's watching television. I excel at watching T.V. in nearly every category. My stamina is measureless, my posture recumbent. I can watch just about anything. I have seen more episodes of "Living Single" than its star-studded cast.
I always knew I had something special inside of me, but I was too blind to see my calling dancing before my eyes. And so I have decided to embark on a mammoth undertaking; a grand, life-changing odyssey. I must embark upon an epic journey across the vast expanse of America's T.V. landscape. I will leave no stone unturned. Tune in for my first entry entitled Reba McEntire: Sassy Siren, Comic Genius.
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